Truckers Stories:

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Special Thanks to Truckers Logic:

I am not a trucker but I did drive a twenty-eight-foot UHaul back and forth to Kansas to move my husband and me to Dallas, Texas. The way there was ominous because I was driving by myself at night and I was so scared.

I am a little woman from Texas and I can drive a pick-up truck but not a big truck. But I was driving a big truck that night and there is something about driving a UHaul truck because they go slow as heck and there was nothing but hills into Oklahoma. 

I thought myself the big chick until it got late and then I realized the power that was under me with that UHaul and it was just a box truck! This is my funny truck-driving story. I remember thinking how easy it was to drive after a while and how I could do this and it was so cool once I got used to driving that little box truck and it was a twenty-eight-footer too!
I was riding with the big boys and then I began to see what jerks we all are in our little cars.

 How we carelessly jump over in front of truckers and they have such responsibility carrying big loads and then some little car jumps over in front of them. 
How ridiculous this was and how I felt sorry for them and I began to have a new respect for truckers even though my husband the salt miner from Kansas had told me stories of lot lizards at his company mine going from truck to truck and how usually truckers would rather growl at him than look at him when they got on the scales. 

This was a new perspective for me! I had a new respect for the big trucks since I was driving this big truck and getting treated the same way too. Well, then I was going to drive the big truck back and my husband was going to drive the pick-up back to Texas and my Father in law had given us walkie-talkies and we thought we were truckers.

I had even handled how the wind made the whole truck sway and I thought I can handle this! No problem at all! Until we loaded the truck up and were moving our stuff home.

I drove because I was used to driving the truck and I could handle it now because I had done a six-hour jaunt to Kansas from Dallas at night. Well, it’s a different story with an empty truck and a full one and I soon learned the difference because UHauls have no power at all!

When we were weighted down we were going so slowly up those hills and I had it floored and it was still only barely going 40mph! Truckers were passing us like we were sitting still and the waves roared over the truck as I drove as fast as I could up those hills and down those hills in Oklahoma.

Needless to say, I lost my respect really quickly when a double Fed Ex truck nearly ran me off the road trying to get by me, and SWOOSHHHHH he went, and that UHaul was waving all over the place and my knees were shaking!

I couldn’t even pick up the walkie talkie let alone talk to my husband because I was so nervous the rest of the way. But it was hilarious because I could not make that UHaul go any faster than it was going and the big truckers tried to run me off the road along with everyone else.

I never saw so many middle fingers in my life as I did that day. Needless to say, I will leave the trucking to truckers. I still did that trip Texas-style all the way home because when everyone was honking and being mean I just blew them kisses every time because I did make it safely home despite them all! Well, I hope you liked my funny one-time truck driving story because it will be my last hope because once was enough for this Texas chick.

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Thanks to TrooperRat

Hmm, well I don’t know how funny this is, but for me, it turned into quite an entertaining ordeal. I used to spend a lot of time talking on the CB. Sometimes, my conversations would turn into something more like preaching.

Well, one night, my truck flat broke down on the side of a highway. She quit running and would have no more of it. It just happened to be right next to a truck stop.
I was getting bored waiting there for help.

I started preaching. Pretty soon, a couple of people were getting mad at me, saying I can’t do that on channel 19 and to get off the radio.
Of course, this didn’t slow me down one iota, and I continued on. But, instead of preaching in general, I began directing it toward these individuals.

Next thing I know, there are dozens of voices squawking all over the radio, keying up on top of each other, screaming, fuming mad at me. My preaching had turned rather – dicey – at that point and quite – blunt, to put it mildly.

There were drivers driving their rigs in circles around the parking lots looking for me, as well as others walking around the lot – they all thought I was in the truckstop, I didn’t bother to tell them I was sitting on the freeway. Talk of slicing and dicing me, even one guy said he was going to kill me!!

Now, when it got that bad, well, I just started laughing, I’m going to be a martyr!! Yayyyy! That little thing went on for almost 2 hours before they all just quit and decided I wasn’t worth the trouble.

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Thanks to WolfPac

Hi, before I start my story I should point out to you that I live (and drive) in Australia, so most of you (if not all) won’t know where the hell I’m talking about! hehe. It is probably also relevant at this point to mention that we don’t have interstate highways here like in the US.
In fact, I have been told that our major highways are just like the secondary roads over there. So long-distance driving over here is a completely different ballgame.

Anyway, this story concerns one early morning when I was driving from Sydney to Brisbane overnight. It’s a 12-hour run up the Pacific Highway (10 1/2 hours driving time, plus breaks to keep legal camera times comes to around 12 hours).

Anyway, at about 4 am or so I was starting to get tired. Really tired. I was trying to make it to the northern NSW town of Ballina to have my next break, but as I rolled into Woodburn (about 30 km south of Ballina) it was really apparent that I just wasn’t going to make it to Ballina, so I thought “Stuff it, it’s not worth it for 30 km, I’m going to pull over here and have a quick 1/2 hour nap”. 

So, I pulled over across the road from the Parkside Cafe (a 24-hour cafe that truck drivers frequent), right behind another truck, and because it was the middle of winter, and freezing cold, I left my truck running so I could have the heater on.

I also figured I would sleep leaning over the steering wheel because I knew that if I lay down in the sleeper I would never wake up in 1/2 hour. So I set my phone to wake me in 1/2 hour, leaned over the wheel, and went to sleep.

Well, I never heard my alarm go off, and I ‘snapped’ awake about 3 hours later, really disorientated, and the first thing I see is the barn doors on the back of a trailer right the hell in front of me! 

I thought I was still driving and was about to run straight up the back of the truck in front!  Man, I stood on the brake pedal, all the time thinking I’m dead until the realization hit me that I wasn’t actually moving! Talk about scaring the crap out of myself! I think I must’ve taken 10 years off my life that morning!

And I know I scared myself good because I decided to walk over to the cafe to get a coffee, and as I walked in the guy behind the counter took one look at me and asked “Are you okay?”

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Johnny F.-

I was picking up a load and after they got me loaded, they told me, “You need to pull over there and tarp,” showing me an area that had a safety harness and cable. I remember thinking that this was a GREAT idea, and even if I fell nothing could happen to me. WRONG! I put on the harness, hooked myself to the cable, and upon the top of the load I went.

Now, this was an unusual load as it was a high stack on the front of the trailer, a low stack in the middle, and another high stack on the back. I sweated to death, almost, and got the tarps stretched all over the load evenly and decided to get off the truck and go cool off before putting the bungee chords on everything. 

I did not want to climb down off the high stack on the back, onto the middle-low stack, and back up onto the high front stack. Do you see where this is going?

So I think to myself, ” I have on a safety harness, so why not just jump the four feet over to the other side?” So I got me a little running start and away I went. As soon as I was airborne, the sensor on the pulley up above detected that I was moving at an unusual speed and it locked down on me. 

My toes ALMOST touched my destination, and suddenly I was whiplashed and hanging like a pig in a slaughterhouse, out to the side of my truck I was propelled in the blink of an eye.

To make matters worse, the leg straps came up into my pelvic area at such a rapid speed that my shorts burst open in the front, my underwear ripped to one side and Mr. Hide-And-Seek and his neighbors popped out to have a look around. 

I can’t pull my shirt down over anything as it is jammed into my moobs and armpits, and I cannot reach down to cover anything with my hands. So there I sat spinning, and because of the pressure on my belly that was pushed up under my chin by now, I could look down and see everything I got for the first time in 10 years.

Each time I go in a full circle I can see the forklift operator about 300 feet away loading a truck and, he cannot hear me yelling. Fortunately an old black man– I did not get his name; you will see why not later– DID see what happened and he jumped out of his truck to come to help me. 
He asked if I was OK, and as I spun slowly facing and flashing him, he said “White Boy, you are in a bad way.”

He is looking around for a release switch to let me down, but there is not one. I am thinking the entire time that at least he is the only person who saw this 

WRONG again.

Out from the side, I hear the office people coming asking if I need an ambulance, and he is telling them to just stay back, and I yelled that I was not injured in any way. 

The old man said there was only one way to get the pressure off the cable so it would release, and he got up under me and put a leg over each shoulder of his pushed up on me as I TEABAGGED his neck and shoulders and sure enough it let off and down we went slowly.

He came out from under me and walked away very rapidly to his truck and never looked back. I regained my composure, got up into my truck and put on new shorts, etc, and got back out.

As I looked towards the offices, I noticed there were NO windows for the people inside to see what happened to me, and I remember wondering if I was actually screaming that loud for them to hear me a block away in the air conditioning.

I went to talk to the poor old guy that rescued me and asked if I could buy him dinner. He said, “No sir, we already had our first AND last date and I am getting the hell out of here before anybody remembers my face.” 

I finished putting straps on the load, drank a glass of tea from my cooler, and proceeded to the offices to get my paperwork. NOBODY inside would make eye contact with me except for the guy filling out the forms for my bills.

As I stood there looking around, lo and behold, there on the wall was a color monitor of surveillance with a close-up view of my truck and the area where I had been hanging out.

I just hung my head in shame, and the guy asked me if I was sure that I was not injured, and I told him I would be perfectly fine. Just a few burn marks from the seatbelt material on the safety harness.

He passed the paperwork to me under the glass, smiled, and said, ” OK, Peter Pan, if you will sign right here we will have you on your way.” Every staff member started snorting and blowing snot bubbles laughing at that point and so did I.

I asked if they had recorded my incident and he said he was in the process of erasing it as we speak, and that he would have used it as a safety training video had I not made it X-rated.

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